6th March 2008

I haven't posted for ages because I have been really busy bringing Endy to live back at home as he was getting mega stressed at the livery yard. On Sunday I rode him home and settled him in his new stable.

He seems much calmer here and has near enough stopped biting and also I havent seen him windsucking at all. Here he has hay 24/7 and is fed more twice a day too. He is turned out from about 10am until 5pm so he doesnt really have time to fret in a stable.

I have ridden him out on some hacks and he is doing really nicely. I am far more relaxed and my hand position is really improving. I do catch myself with my hands dropping towards my thighs but not half as often as before. The leg position now feels like second nature.

I have been reading a lot on the sustainable Dressage site and have been learning loads. I have been playing with the bit contact today and noticing how light I can be with it. The problem that I am having trouble getting my head around is that as soon as I make the lightest of contacts Endy slows down or stops. I am teaching him to be light but then by being light I cannot make a contact. I am sure there is an answer to this but I cant work it out at the moment.

I have also been practicing my leg aids and trying not to kick but to just squeeze with my lower leg. Sometimes we get a response and sometimes we dont. The thing is I am trying to teach myself and also my 16 year old horse which isnt easy. I have stopped the constant nagging now with my leg and only use it to change speed.

Hopefully tomorrow or in the next few days Mike will take some pics of me working in the field and I can see myself and if I look any better.

I am looking forward to really getting back into riding regularly now that Endy is home and to doing some more schooling for him and me. I am going to try and lunge him or maybe longline him. I dont think he had been long lined before because he didnt seem to understand what I was trying to get him to do the last time I tried it.

26th February 2008

After reading Trudi's comments earlier in my blog I decided to concentrate on my hands today.

It was a misty cool day today but perfect for riding so I decided to go for an hours hack. My feet are now much better and I only have to check very occasionally whilst trotting to make sure that they haven't slipped backwards. So far so good!

The hands are a different matter. I started off just by raising them above the withers and spacing them about 6" apart but I couldnt believe it when I checked about 2 minutes later and sure enough they were level with my hips and almost resting on my thighs. Now had Trudi not seen the pictures I posted I would not have thought that they were too low.

At first I just couldnt keep them up and every time my mind was distracted they would drop down. I tried bridging my reins so that they were a fixed distance apart but had to give up on that because I am still trying to keep a very light contact with Endy's mouth and I couldn't regulate that enough.

I then had the idea of using my whip as a measure across the gap and held that with both hands. Because it is fixed it keeps them 6" apart and also I cannot lower them. This really worked well and it is schooling my muscle memory to remember the place where they should be. I realise that my hands will be facing downwards but that is something I can easily fix once my hands remember to be higher.
I notice that by raising my hands it makes me sit taller in the saddle and also it keeps my head up and straight.

We did a couple of leg yeilds and I found that from the right to the left track he does it no trouble at all with no loss of forward movement at all. The opposite way is totally different and he just stops dead.
I played with my weight and found that if I kept my weight in the stirrup on the side that I wanted him to step towards then he did not lose any forward motion at all. I presume that this is because I am slightly lifting the weight out of the saddle on that side? I dont know why it worked just that it did.

By the time we got home he was moving very freely and I felt lighter in the saddle. In fact we were having such fun I wished we could have stayed out longer.... Still there is always tomorrow!

25th February 2008

I haven't ridden over the weekend because of being so busy and was a bit worried about riding Endy today as I thought he might be a bit fresh but all in all he was quite good and we worked very hard.

I found a classical dressage site on the internet written by Roger and Eleanor Taylor and after reading that I found that I learnt a lot. I learned the reasons for doing some of the things I do. Although I know they are good to do I didn't appreciate why. For instance Leg Yielding. I thought that the reason I am doing some leg yields is just to teach Endy to step across and to change to the outside track but after reading the site I realise that it is to teach the horse to listen to the leg so that you can ride corners better. Call me stupid but this just never occurred to me.

Today I spent my time in the sand school and we did lots of up and down transitions using light leg aids and very light contact with the bit. We did lots of circles and figures of eight. Occasionally I would just let him trot as fast as he wanted on the buckle end of the reins and let him stretch. By the end he was really stretching his neck down, probably not as well as he could but he is definately starting to do it.
He is still falling in on the corners through his shoulder so it feels like riding a motorbike around them. I couldnt use the whole school because there was a lesson going on in there but I tried to do a 5metre circle in the odd corner at a walk and then slightly bigger at the trot. I still cannot get any contact without him immediately raising his head so what I tried to do today is to shorten and lengthen my reins without really touching his mouth. Before as soon as he felt me adjusting the rein length he would raise his head but now he pretty well ignores it until I actually make the contact.

We did a bit of leg yielding but I couldnt keep the forward movement going in trot on the left rein and he kept going back to walk. On the right rein he is fine. I reckon this is something to do with my seat blocking him so I am going to work on that.

Mike arrived towards the end and was watching me and he commented on how much better my leg position is and that I seem to be finding it more natural now to keep it on the girth. I dont have to struggle to keep it forward. My right leg is better than my left though.

At the end we popped over a cross pole for a bit of fun and he was fine.

I am really enjoying this horse and feel that I am definately improving, slowly but surely.

22nd February 2008

Rode for the first time this week today. With one thing and another I haven't had chance and yesterday he had his vaccinations and so I let him rest.

Anyway we went out for a nice long hack. We did lots and lots of transitions up and down and we did a bit of cantering too. I have stopped tying my stirrup to the girth and can't believe it today that my leg is in a definately better position and it is staying there. In walk now I don't have to think about it at all as it just lies in a natural position and in trot I just have to keep checking that I don't let is slide back. My right leg seems to stay in the right place but my left still keeps sliding backwards. Today I was doing just a couple of strides in trot and then back to walk and then a couple of strides and then trot again. Endy is much happier now and we hardly get any ears back at all because I try and keep my reins at a sensible length so that he has very light contact with the bit but I do have brakes. He is becoming more and more responsive to my voice and my aids. I try to hardly use my legs unless we are changing direction i.e. leg yielding or changing pace. Once he is going forward I leave him alone. It is definately working as he seems much more free and forward than he was.

My big problem now is that because he is much more free and forward he is also more fizzy. At one point he spooked at something going by us and we ended up bucking down the road which isnt good fun! Also when he is like this I HAVE to take a better contact on the reins because he shies or spooks or shoots forward and I have no control. I talk to him to calm him but I have to take a firmer contact to stop him jogging and then up comes his head. I try to do the three levels of the stopping aid as Trudi showed me but sometimes he just ignores it and brings his head higher and higher getting more spooky.

It's early days and I know it will take weeks to get him used to me not hanging onto his mouth but sometimes I don't feel safe and in control.

We did some leg yielding on the track and he is really good though I noticed that he is better going from right to left than the other way. I reckon this is something to do with my weight stopping him being able to step across so easily and so I am trying now to make a mental note of my position and how it changes when I give the aid for the leg yield.

I am feeling more positive and I can feel that my whole seat and body position has changed with my leg position changing. My body is taller and straighter and I am more centred and I feel that the weight is going down through my leg into my little toe. I am also looking up more as before I know I kept looking down and this took my weight forward and down.

Small changes make such a big difference and I can really feel the difference and I like it.

Friday 15th after a bit of work

Here are some pics which Mike took of me after I had got him a bit more settled. There are some of us working on the flat and some doing some trotting poles in walk and trot.

Because I was having so much trouble with my lower leg I tied the left stirrup to the girth. I only had one strap. I made a huge difference and I am going to try tying both in future.

I look like a bliddy Potty Man... Do you remember Michael Bentines Potty Men?

Anyway today I was concentrating on my lower leg and My contact. I reckon there is a nice difference by the end. He is more relaxed and his head carriage is better.

Here are a couple of us doing a leg yield at a walk

And finally us doing a couple of trotting

poles

Afternoon Friday 15th

Here are some pics which I have tried to recreate how my leg position was before I had my lesson with Trudi and how Endy kept fighting against me as I tried to effect a contact.

Not a pretty sight!

Friday 15th February 2008

Last night Trudi sent me the pictures that she took at THE END of our lesson on Tuesday. When I saw them I was devastated. I reckon it was the lowest point ever of my riding career. It's not a career though, I am a happy hacker not a bloody three day eventer......!!

I look so awful and I look so massively fat as well. (Don't worry I know I am fat.) I look as though I don't know how to ride at all... which is a funny statement to make as I by the looks of things I obviously don't.

I have been awake half the night trying to justify to myself that a) I don't need to post the pics for everyone to see and laugh at. b) I could make this a closed blog so that only people I thought would be nice to me could look at it. c) I could just not post them at all and just write about it.

After a hell of a lot of thought I have decided to post them because I am trying to keep this blog as a record of my progress. Other people are interested and want to see how I am progressing.

I am going to go to the yard today and Mike is going to take some pics of my old seat. In that my leg is much further back and my body is more forward but I am more balanced than I look in these pictures. Endy doesn't look very comfortable in these pictures either but his head is lower than it will be in the pictures that I take for the before pics.

I will post again this afternoon after I get back from riding.

OK here goes.... The dreaded pictures. All I ask that when you look at them you see with what we call in the Acupuncture and healing profession 'Soft Eyes'. Don't be too judgemental of me.

Thursday 14th February 2008

I went to the yard today feeling full of anticipation and really looking forward to putting into practice everything I had learned.

I tacked up and went into the little manege where we did the following game. Endy was totally distracted and far too interested in looking at everything around him at first, but after a few minutes he was listening to me and following me around. He is generally stopping as soon as I turn around and will back up when I show him a flat hand but I would say that he is only doing it on sufferance.

I mounted up and off we went. At first I had to make a positive decision not to keep kicking with my legs to make him walk on. Once I got him walking I tried to leave him alone and although he was probably not walking on as fast as I would want him to he was happy sauntering along. I kept quiet and didn't keep clicking and clucking either which in the past I would normally be doing. I spent the whole ride concentrating on my leg position and my hands. I worked at keeping the weight down through the stirrups and onto mainly the little toe. My whole seat position is wrong though. I am definately not sitting on the right place. Poor Endy had to put up with me shuffling around trying to find and optimum place for my bum so that my feet had the weight going through them but I could maintain a contact with my thigh.

I can only keep my knee on the saddle by rotating my lower leg so that my heel is further out away from the horse and my toe is pointing in. I am sure this is right but I cannot sustain it. Unless I positively think about it and use force on my muscles to make them stay there my leg slips back.

Because of all the work I have done in the past on addiction I know that one can retrain a habit by repetition. I have to retrain the muscles of my leg to stay in the new position and I reckon this should take about 3 weeks.

As we neared the end of the ride I found that if I sat more towards my tail bone than my pubic bone then I could maintain the leg in the right place and keep my knee on the saddle. It also felt reasonably comfortable and Endy seemed to be more forward and lighter from behind when I was like this.

My contact with the reins is really paying off and we eventually could get a trot with just one pace of ears back and at one time we actually trotted with no ears back at all. He did get very light and fizzy in the latter part of the ride and I had a job to keep him in walk. When he got like this then I did lots of walk/halt/walk transitions using my voice and my seat and he eventually calmed down and I didnt have to resort to the reins to keep him under control.
At the end I could hear him playing with the bit and he was really enjoying himself.

We had one short canter where he was very settled and I eased him into it slowly and then made no effort to balance him with the reins which is what I have always done before. I let him sort it out and concentrated on my leg. He really was a superstar and I enjoyed every single minute of the ride.

He feels more open and free and light. His mouth is so responsive and I realise that I am so lucky to have this lovely animal and also very lucky that I didnt totally destroy his mouth with my heavy handedness. When I thought he was being strong he was actually trying to get away from me and fight against me.

The day after

I have been having a real crisis of confidence today. I am not a very confident person anyway and see any advice as criticism which is really not healthy.

This morning I went through the
'I am just too crap to ride a horse, maybe I should give it all up and forget about it'
'Do you think that Trudi will tell everyone how rubbish I was?' (I know she wouldn't)
'Perhaps I am too old to learn any new tricks'
'Maybe Trudi doesn't know what she is talking about and is teaching me wrong' (that was a very fleeting thought)
'What have I got to lose?'

By the time I was finished I was ready to sell Endy and pack my riding boots away.

but

I went to the yard and very unwillingly saddled Endy up for a ride. I had forgotten to write Endy's name in the turnout book for today so he would not have been outside for a stretch. If I hadn't then I don't think I would have ridden today at all.

Once tacked up I took him into the manege and spent 5 minutes playing the following game and making him stop and back away from a hand signal from me, which he did very well.

I then mounted up and did a quick lap of the manege in walk and trot and then went for a hack.

At first I was afraid to have any contact with the bit but that is silly because he was wandering around all over the place and walked along like a drunk and at one point actually turned round to come hom. I am sure that is not what Trudi intended and so I fiddled around with the lightest of contacts until I had some steering but not interfering. I soon realised how to tell what was too much contact as he immediately brings his head up to the giraffe position which is not where I want it to be.

Working on my lower leg position is hard. It feels as though I have my lower leg draped over the front of the saddle and resting on Endy's shoulders. I must have been riding before with my leg way back. In a walk I can keep it in place on the girth but as soon as we trot it all goes wrong and it ends up slipping backwards. I might get some string or something and tie my stirrups to the girth loosely and see if that helps. I kept working on my body position as well. I experimented a lot with my stirrup length and towards the end of the ride I think I have got it about right. My only problem now is that with my leg further forward I cannot keep my knee on the saddle and it keeps falling away. I need to work hard at this.

Not once on the whole ride did we have a fight. He carried his head in a normal position and we did some trotting when he only laid his ears back for about 4 strides and then put them forwards again when he realised that I wasn't going to pull on his mouth.

My goal is to get this lower leg position more natural and to be able to trot without him laying his ears back at all.

Actually riding

As soon as I got on Endy had his head in the air..... I kicked and kicked and he meandered around the school very slowly, with no energy looking at the sky....

Trudi soon had me changing my riding position. My legs were too far back, my body was too far forward and my head was down as I am constantly looking down. With my legs more forward I feel like they are up around Endy's ears!!! It is a very strange feeling. Of course changing this totally altered my whole body and seat and I just couldnt do anything. I also had to keep my leg off him and have no contact at all on the reins. This is mega scarey to have no contact. Endy isn't a super hot flightly number but he does spook and has been known to shoot forward.

Then she had me walking with my eyes closed. It was the strangest experience because with my eyes closed it felt like we werent moving. I had to guess when he was stepping forward with his hind leg. This I did only to be told that I wasn't identifying his hind leg but his shoulder movement as he stepped forward with his foreleg. What a shock!

We went on to do lots of trotting with very long reins. Walk to trot and back to walk transitions using only my seat to slow down. Using the imaginary spring under the seat to slow the trot which is amazing because it really does work.

At no time did I really have any contact with Endy's mouth and I felt as though he was going along like a hephalump with his nose stretched out 20 feet in front of us but he did not at any time raise his head like he usually does doing his giraffe impression.

When I cantered it must have been a disaster because Trudi said that I should not canter again in the school as Endy was sooooo unbalanced. That was a bit unnerving! We only cantered about 20 strides.

We went back to more walk trot transitions and right at the end had another canter which apparently was more successful.

All in all it was a brilliant lesson and I really could feel a difference in Endy's body language. He was no longer fighting me, he was no longer star gazing, he was relaxed and loose through his back. I didn't have to constantly nag with my legs either to keep forward movement which was amazing.

I have a lot to practice in the next few weeks and a long way for both of us to go. All I want at the end is a responsive and happy horse who is a pleasure to ride an who wants to be ridden by me.

The big day

I was really excited all morning about Trudi coming and couldnt wait. I was apprehensive too. Would I really make a twit of myself? Would she be horribly critical of me?

Trudi had never seen Endy before and so she said some nice things about him when she met him. He was his usual charming self, trying hard to nip her!

First of all we put his bridle on with a snaffle and a caveson over the top and went down to the manege where she did some leading games with him. She walked in front and then stopped and Endy was supposed to stop too but he didnt, he just walked into the back of her. Then she turned to face him and he should walk backwards away from her with hand signals from her but of course he didnt. After a few attempts he got the hang of moving away from pressure and he was quite good. He moved his quarters away when asked and moved sideways when asked.

She then asked me to lunge him and show her what happened. Off we went at a funereal pace. He walked slower and slower and I clicked and clucked and chivvied and waved the lunge whip and he looked bored. He really did not want to know at all. Trudi took over from me and changed the position of lunging to more 'driving' him forward. She placed herself more towards his quarters and was only about a metre away from him and then drove him forwards from there. Endy didn't really 'get' it but he needs work and he was interested in it and his ears were forward and he had a vaguely puzzled look on his face so he wasn't asleep.

Next I had to get on!

Lunging and evasion

You can see in this picture of me lunging Endy that he is not a happy bunny. He is holding his head up too high and also he is holding his head on one side which he does when being lunged and being ridden.

Before the big day

Whilst I was waiting for Trudi to set a date I had been thinking hard about what our problems were. I knew that his back was ok as he had been treated by M. Pommier about 2 months ago an he did seem better since then. His teeth are ok and his saddle fits fine.

At the end of the day it was down to me and nothing else and I had to face it, changes needed to be made.

I was quite anxious about the thought of Trudi coming over and watching me ride. I am not very good at being criticized and also I was embarrassed about what she might see. I want to be a good and knowledgeable rider and the thought of someone coming over and watching me and saying I was rubbish was scarey.
Not only that but Helene wanted to come over and watch and to meet Trudi and although she has seen me ride her horses and is quite complimentary about my riding she might not feel the same if she hears what Trudi has to say.

My first lesson

I had my first lesson today 12th February with the lovely Trudi.

I have been having loads of problems with Endy which just seemed to be getting worse and it was getting that I really wasnt enjoying riding anymore unless we were with someone else and he was misbehaving. If we went out on a ride with other horses he would be silly and fizzy. Constantly cantering on the spot, going sideways, bucking and leaping about. By the time I got back from any of these rides my arms were aching and I was shattered and so was he!

In the manege he was a different horse. He was sluggish, slow, sleepy and just painful to ride. I couldnt get any forward movement and had to constantly nag away with my legs which he was obviously ignoring. I then resorted to my schooling whip but this then turned into the same problem as he was ignoring the taps from that too. I hated to ride him in the manege or out on a hack on my own as it was downright hard work and to be honest too hard.

I had posted about my problems on EOL and lots of people had come up with ideas for re-energising him. Most were for keeping his energy up by doing some faster work in between to get the blood flowing. I had tried this and it did work but it did not address the problems of his head carriage.
I had a kind of catch 22 situation. If I made a contact with the bit then he would slow down or stop and also raise his head. If I kicked hard with my legs to keep him moving whilst keeping a contact then he would raise his head even higher.

Damien had suggested the hot potato thing with constantly jiggling the bit on each side alternately an whilst this did work after a while it was still a constant battle to keep him going and his head was getting higher and higher.

In the end Trudi very kindly offered to come over and have a look at us and give us a verdict